- You have a nagging desire pull out weeds in other people’s gardens.
- You steal the bags of leaves your neighbors put out on the street to use as compost or mulch.
- You can never get your fingernails clean
- You arrive early so you can be first in line when the botanical garden holds its rare plant sale.
- Your vacation plans are largely based on garden visits.
- Every home remodeling project includes more space for plants.
- When you get home after a hard day at work, you visit your garden before saying hello to your spouse.
- Total strangers recognize you as the person they saw wandering in a garden in pajamas holding a cup of coffee.
- There are always pots of unplanted plants at the end of your driveway.
- You have more pairs of gardening gloves than socks.
- You insist that every guest leave your house with a cutting or a division.
Your clothes are always dirtier than the kids’.
- In the laundry room, your clothes are always dirtier than the kids’ clothes.
- You’re known locally as the crazy plant lady.
- You keep explaining to your spouse that soil isn’t dirt … and you actually believe it.
- You take out your frustrations on the weeds in the garden … and come back in feeling totally zen.
- You dumpster dive for plants other people threw out.
- You consider weeding your main form of exercise.
- You look at hardiness zones as challenge rather than a rule.
- You have more photos of your garden than of your grandkids.
All of these objects would be useful in your garden.
- Everything sold at the flea market could find some use in your garden.
- People ask how you’re doing and you tell them about the powdery mildew on your zucchini.
- You hide plants so your spouse won’t know you’ve yet again been plant shopping.
- You spend as much weekly on plants and garden products as you do on groceries.
- You always have plastic bags and a shovel in your car’s trunk … for emergencies!
- Your family hires a specialist to stage a garden intervention.
- You pick up and squash insects between your thumb and forefinger … and enjoy the crunching sound it makes.
- At the local garden center, the staff put special plants in a corner just for you.
- You admit your garden is totally full, yet you still come home with new plants.
- You find the smell of horse manure comforting.
A headlamp for night gardening. Photo: dasdata.com
- You buy yourself a headlamp you can better garden in the dark.
- Your balcony is so full of plants, there’s no room for a lawn chair.
- You know the Latin name of every plant in your garden, but can’t remember your grandkids’ names.
- Your favorite reading material is seed catalogs.
- You get up and water wilting plants while at the restaurant.
- You selectively prune plants in public gardens and—gosh, how did that happen?—some of the cuttings end up in your handbag.
Neighbours come to you for gardening advice.
- Neighbors always come to you for gardening advice.
- The Google Earth satellite image of your property looks like a rainforest canopy.
- You’re thrilled when it rains and regard day after day of sunny weather as a calamity.
- You go to the local garden center and can’t find one plant you don’t already own.
- You sow five times as many seedlings as you have room for.
- You give away plants as a hostess gift rather than bottles of wine.
- You grab strangers from the street so you can take them on a tour of your garden.
- Garden tools and books figure heavily on your Christmas gift list.
- You put out less garbage than any of your neighbors, because practically everything goes into your compost pile.
Pickups are sooo practical! Photo: Tacluda, rgbstock.com
- You change your car for a pickup so you can better carry plants and soil.
- Your boss adds “taking care of the office plants” to your job description.
- You can’t sun bathe in your backyard because it’s too full of plants.
- You feel sorry for people who don’t garden.
- By your child’s 2nd birthday, you’re already planning what to plant in place of their sandbox.
- That stack of magazines in your bathroom is actually made up of bulb catalogs.
Pingback: When Gardening is an Addiction | Random TerraBytes
I’m clearly addicted but there are worse things to be addicted to! Quite a few of these describe me.
Reblogged this on Strafford County Master Gardeners Association and commented:
A little gardening humor as we get ready to move into August. Happy gardening.