I Declare the Seedling War Over!

Like many of you, I fight every year for (with!) my seedlings. Those little plantlets are never happy! Yes, I write for a gardening blog, but every year I kill more than half of my seedlings! And in the spring, it’s the survivors and their few sad little leaves that are transplanted into the garden…

But don’t think that for the last five years I have been content with these weak and sad seedlings, no, I have made progress every year! But this year is the right one!

The Battles Lost That Enabled Me to Win the War

The first year, I naively placed my trays on the windowsill. Without a south-facing window, my poor plants stretched desperately towards the light, producing long, fragile stems that bore no resemblance to the photos in the seed catalogues.

To combat the stretching, I invested in grow lights of dubious quality. The stretching problem was relatively solved, but trying tomatoes that year, it was too cold near the windows and half of my seeds didn’t even deign to germinate. I won’t even mention the cardboard containers I used, which literally fell apart. Forget about the famous toilet paper roll trick. If your rolls aren’t waxed (like a carton of milk), it does… well, what you’d expect wet cardboard to do.

(It’s really sad, I don’t have any archive photos of my attempts… All there is in my photos are harvests, food, and dogs…!)

Other Experiences…

The following year, I opted for the famous plastic mini-greenhouse that you can find in any hardware store. You know, the one that promises a greenhouse effect, but barely keeps in any more heat than cellophane? My plants survived, but let’s just say they weren’t very vigorous. It must be said that the greenhouse effect in a greenhouse like that, or in a commercial plastic container (I can see you, lovers of croissants and spinach!), is tricky. When the sun hits it, it goes up to 45°C in two minutes: you have to open it! But when the sun goes away, it’s not so insulating that the heat disappears instantly. In the end, it’s good for keeping out the damp and that’s about it. But be careful, not too damp, it dies! I swear, the seedlings…!

Last year, I tried a new approach by moving all these little guys to the basement, in a small room with good heating. The heat was finally there! Very dry, very, very rustic as regards the arrangement of wires, lights, etc., but I seemed to have something that wasn’t too bad. But as I only went down to the basement to do the laundry… and the room is not on my way… let’s just say that my plants suffered a little from neglect (and lack of humidity).

In short, in this 6th year of my garden, I have FINALLY decided to stop tinkering and to equip myself properly: I have bought a real grow tent.

A Small Growth Laboratory

Imagine a tent big enough for me to fit inside, with reflective and insulating walls. Unlike our little hardware store greenhouses, this one really keeps in the heat AND the humidity. It is completely closed at the bottom, and there is a waterproof and removable bottom which is a big plus: no more water damage on the floor!

As a picture is worth a thousand words, here it is:

I installed small pieces of furniture inside and equipped the whole thing with a weather station that allows me to monitor the temperature and humidity. Suspension poles and well-designed hatches allow me to hang lighting, run wires and add ventilation as needed.

The Cost of Excellence

Okay, Audrey, we get it, you’re as mad as a hatter, it’s all wonderful and everything, but… how much did it all cost you?

Surprisingly, it really wasn’t that expensive!!

During my years of testing, I bought (among other things): the famous $25 greenhouse, two lights on Amazon that definitely weren’t worth $40 each, two other lamps with special grow bulbs, $30 each… Total of $165 (I don’t remember the prices exactly and I’m too lazy to dig through my bills, but that’s about right.)

And that’s not counting the extension cords, timers, fans, hooks, and other expenses. And the HOURS of tinkering! A greenhouse, in a greenhouse, in a greenhouse? Yes, I’ve done it before and, no, it was not conclusive!

A Godsend!

Let’s face it: I make a living from my writing and I’m no J.K. Rowling. I’m an ordinary person, looking for discounts and who hates spending money for nothing. That’s why when I saw an ad for a new 3x3x6-foot grow tent on sale for $60, I couldn’t believe my luck! Similar used tents sell for around a hundred dollars, so I RAN to the store. Well, I drove.

Another great surprise was that all the equipment was 50% off! So I left there with my tent, two SUPER good lights, two pulley systems to adjust the height of my lights, a timer, and a thermostat for $170, taxes included.

Getting almost professional equipment cost me the same as all my failed attempts. (Plus, I discovered a great place, I’ll tell you about it in a future article!)

I added a small heater and a fan that I had, and I am, I hope, equipped to have magnificent seedlings, but also herbs (another of my pet peeves) all year round. Ta-da!

5 Lessons Learned the Hard Way

In writing this article (which is not at all a sales pitch, by the way! Everyone finds the method that works for them), my goal was simply to share my enthusiasm with you. I realize that after all my research and reading over the past few years, I have finally found my own balance (I hope!). Despite all the advice available, there are still a few things I wish I had known from the start. And since I feel generous, I’m sharing them with you in a top 5 (to mark the end of my 5 years of misery!):

1. The Greenhouse Effect Is Treacherous!

These small greenhouses made from recycled plastic containers can be transformed into an oven in a few minutes in the sun. I once “cooked” a whole batch of tomato seedlings one afternoon when I wasn’t at home to open the lid. On the other hand, without insulation, they lose their heat as quickly as they gain it. Consider a method that is less natural and free than the sun, but more stable for warming your seedlings (heating mats, lights, heaters, there are many options). The temperature (and your sanity!) will be much more stable.

2. Cheap Lamps on Amazon: Beware!

If you can see the lamp, it probably isn’t bright enough. Your plants need a LOT of light. I’ve learned that “cheap” often rhymes with etiolated! When we plugged in one of the new lights in my grow tent, we almost went blind!

3. Food Is Important!

Like a growing teenager, seedlings need to eat. Good soil, suitable fertilizer… I neglected this aspect for a long time, wondering why my plants seemed to stop growing after a few weeks. They are fragile seedlings, so a little fertilizer, but frequently, is ideal. Remember that in nature, there is a lot of life in the soil that brings a flood of nutrients, in a small seed pot, even if the roots have not yet filled the pot, they may be lacking in yum yum.

4. Plant Generously!

I tend to want to save my seeds for later, sowing only a few seeds of each variety. The result? Expired packets, disappointing harvests and a nasty mess of envelopes of all kinds! Now, I sow more than necessary and keep the best plants. This is even more important for my old seeds, because their germination rate is often lower: out of 10 seeds planted from this 2018 packet, only three will sprout! With 50 seeds per packet, you can afford to plant 10 and keep two or three, and you’ll still have seeds for 5 years!

5. Gardening Is Not a Profitable Investment… at Least, Not at First!

You buy a little bit every year, you test, you learn, and eventually you end up with a setup that works. That’s when you can start talking about profitability! So don’t lose hope, don’t think you’ll save money by using pots made from toilet paper rolls, you’ll be disappointed! Being a pro at sowing is a matter of trial and error, but also a question of having the right tools.

Bonus tip MOST IMPORTANT for this 6th year full of promise: Gina, Theresa and Co. who give you tips on Facebook are a load of rubbish!

If you follow Laidback Gardener, you are no doubt aware of the number of myths that circulate and that are false. When you receive advice, tell yourself that it is a lead to be explored and validated BEFORE you start getting coffee grounds everywhere. BEFORE you start growing all your seedlings in cardboard. BEFORE you take all your seedlings outside at the first sign of warmer weather. Yes, the internet is a gold mine of information, but also of misinformation. Many of my supposedly good ideas came from dubious advice on gardening groups. What supposedly works for Gina and Theresa is not necessarily what will work for you. Use your critical sense, your common sense, and reliable internet resources.

In short, I wish you all an excellent planting season. I’m just getting settled in and I’m “mad as a hatter”! This year is my year! I’ll keep you posted on developments!